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I‘m going on a treasure hunt Wednesday in my dad’s house, he kept little money in the bank but invested heavily in the stock market of gold and silver. He literally has bags of both hidden in the house and I aim to find them. I will be extremely wealthy when this is over but I am giving all the money away except for my kids college.

You probably think I’m crazy, which I am certifiable but that isn’t the reason it’s being given away. I find money changes people for the worse and just adds more problems to their lives and people who befriend them and become parasitic. I don’t want to change and I don’t want to rub elbows with the rich and famous. Nope, all I want is a garden and to relax that is all and money won’t give me either.

I would love to wake up looking at the ocean every morning but that is about as far as my dreaming can go at this point. When you have no one to share your life with, being wealthy becomes a hollow victory. I don’t need fancy meals as a simple tortilla with queso fresco cheese melted is just fine with me.

I love mexican food and make great hot sauce and I can bake or cook anything. My son has been bragging about my cooking which means he is missing me. He needs to miss me for a lot longer so he treats me with respect and quits his lieing. He isn’t a bad boy he is just ill like his mom and has been taught unhealthy ways of living by his dad.

This year is about me, finally I am putting myself first and liking myself and eventually I will love myself and that will keep me from getting involved in unhealthy relationships of any kind. I would rather be making homemade strawberry jam then go to a fancy restaurant, I would rather be sharing a bowl of homemade popcorn with someone that I love then go to theatre, I would rather lie naked in bed with my man and just enjoying the moment then win the lotto.

I’m a strange woman in many ways but that is ok because I like being unique and being me is what I do best. I don’t put on airs for anyone, take me or leave me the way I am. I am no longer possessed by my possessions and money doesn’t drive my life and with this attitude I am finally free, totally free of the ties that have bound me from moving forward.

I make drastic changes when I do make changes and I clean house totally and if you aren’t with me then you are against me and you have to go. I am so sure that there are people waiting for me to find the silver and gold because they think they will get some of it or all of it but that will never happen.

I know longer fall for sob stories and will no longer give another dime to anyone as I have given until it has hurt me terribly. Those that I have helped are not here to help me in return so they got all they are getting and are wiped out of my life.

My dad was the same way, he would help anyone but screw him over and he cut you out of his life like cancer. He never looked back and would never help that person again, screw me once and it’s my fault, screw me twice and it’s your fault and there are no third chances.

I didn’t have to acknowledge my sister on the probate papers but that just isn’t me, but I will tell you I will share the stock with her but not the gold or silver. Sorry, she has screwed me to many times and she never even talked to my dad so I am justified in what I am doing. The accountant has refused to return my calls so I will be there bright and early Wednesday collecting my dad’s income tax, which was filed illegally, closing the bank accounts and contacting all the investment company’s my dad worked with.

I will be shittin and a gittin Wed/Thurs because I have to head back to the trailor Friday and be in court mon/tues. I am a busy gal for sure but I am on a mission and I cannot be stopped once I get going. I will be hiring a bankruptcy appraiser to appraise my dads property, they always come in super low and the courts always except their appraisel.

My sister doesn’t want the land and I am sure she will sign it over to me because I am taking care of all this and she just has to sit back and sign docs and mail them. Doris has no idea she is about to get hit with a two by four when she returns.

I have found that the more you give away and do for others the more that comes back to you and this is so true. Here I am finally a wealthy woman and have no desire to keep the money as most people would be out buying fancy cars, hell I just want to get mine fixed and get another car, pay off the IRS and live happily ever after. I know that only happens in fairytales but it sounds damn good, doesn’t it?

My husband told me that his second wife made him feel like a paycheck and that was it. How can anyone  live like that? We marry and we change and grow and it’s usually in different directions, but we do love our spouse but we want to be in love again, feel that excitement and giddy feeling, we want to have nothing on our minds but that person and think of ways to make them happy. That is being in love and that is what we all are striving for.

But if you want something better in your life to have to give up the unneccesary to reach the ultimate goal of happiness.Life doesn’t allow us to put it on hold so we have to strike while the iron is hot and forge our  new life when we have the opportunity.

I am wildy crazy in love with someone that is married and I just about don’t even care because I want to be with him so bad. To do that would be a huge mistake for me as I would be second and will not be anything but first. I deserve to be first and I will one day to someone.

I think he is finding his life isn’t where he wants to be and his unhappiness is sending up red flags all over his life. I want him to happy and content, I want him to feel love and enjoy another, I want him to be the very best he can be. I want these things for him because I love him and I do not expect a thing in return from him.

One day he will take a good look at his life and regret that he didn’t go after what he really wanted but I can do nothing about that and I pray to God everyday for his safety, good health and love that is true with no strings attached.. 

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