, , ,

I awoke this morning with his arm over my body again, this was so foreign to me yet felt so damn good. His piss hard on was once again poking me in the back and I felt safe and secure and found that so odd. I had another bad night of the sweats and was soaked to the bone. He asked me how I was feeling and I told him a bit better but I wasn’t ready to deal with anything that required thought and he just laughed.

Do you have any idea how hard it is to lie next to you naked and not want to make love to you, he asked. He told me he loved my body and how I moved, he enjoyed watching me do anything from walking down the hall to cooking. He enjoyed watching me dance and told me that the way I moved my body should be illegal. He asked me if I wanted him to bathe me again as he so enjoyed it and I told him I didn’t care about his enjoyment, I was sick and wanted to feel better, that is all.

He asked if I felt like eating something and I said I was, he headed to the kitchen and returned several minutes later with scrambled eggs and chorizo, fresh tortillas and fresh juice. We sat in bed and ate off one plate, I taking only a few bites and leaving the remainder to him as I could not eat much and still felt nauseated. The eggs were dry as hell and stuck in my throat but I would not complain, no way because no one had ever made me breakfast before and I enjoyed it.

He wanted to show me his new plane he had flown from Texas to Detroit and just like a little kid, he pulled out his ipad and showed me the pictures of a sleek plane he called a Bombardier Global Express XRS. It looked very expensive and too me another waste of money but he lit his occasional cigar with thousand dollar bills and never thought twice. I was not leaving the house again as illness was hanging on like a leach but I did tell him his plane was pretty which made him feel proud and he said he had given it a name. I said to him do you name everything? He just laughed and said yes, that was how he could keep his shit straight. He said, her name is Kimberly, she is exactly like you and the moment I got in the cockpit I knew we were meant to be together.

I told him that him and I had never meant to be together or would have long ago and of course he disagreed. I told him I loved him but was not in love with him and never would be. It hurt me to have to tell him that but it was the truth and I couldn’t tell him otherwise. He said “Kimberly, I would rather spend my life with you knowing you loved me then with another who claimed to be in love with me and just wanted the good times.” If he hadn’t been so hell driven on success he wouldn’t be facing such a tragic life he currently was living but that was his cross to bare not mine, it was a tough life to have a plane, money to burn, every desire fulfilled, yes it was a tough life to live, I have no doubt.

We went through the same morning bathing ritual we had the day before and I crawled back in bed and looked out the window. He asked me, where are you? and I said what do you mean? He said you are not here with me you’re with him aren’t you? I had tried not to let the subject be brought up because I didn’t want to discuss it and besides I felt like an ass anyway.

He told me he remembered when I called him and told him about sending the asshole my little safety net bundle only to be scammed. I went the distance for you babe, he said. Hooked you up right with my private dick, got all the info you needed to wake your ass up and still you are dealing with Mr. Pretty? What the fuck is wrong with you girl, he asked. What does he have that I don’t he asked me and I told him we were not playing that game and I wasn’t going to play million questions. You are an asshole girl, he said to me and he was right.

You let this guy scam you under different names and locations yet you still communicate with him, well fuck you deserve to get burned then. If he is such a straight up guy then why is it I informed you that he was married and had a gaggle of kids? Why is it, I am the one that gave you all the info you have on him? Why is it, I am the one that is here and not him? Ask yourself those questions and when you have solid answers then maybe you will finally get your head out of your ass.

You seriously aren’t still waiting for him to get divorced and sweep you away are you? He looked and me and sadly he said “you are” as if he were a wounded puppy. This guy is a fucking joke he said, you think he hasn’t told a shitload of other women his same lame ass sad story? You think he hasn’t fucked a women in every port? You think he loves you, don’t you? Kimberly, guys like him do not love women like you, they have you for breakfast and move on after they take what they came for. You are so damn hard headed and I don’t know what the hold is this guy has over you, but you damn well better shake it off or you are going to be seriously crushed, he said.

He told me Mr. Pretty boy was never going to come to me or he would have already and the only reason he kept contact with me was to get his hands on what little I had and toss me into a binson burner. What really hurt me was all he said was the truth and I had known it for so very long but refused to accept it. Why don’t you let yourself live he said, why don’t you let me love you the way you need and should be loved, he asked. I was unhappy to see how unhappy I was making him, it wasn’t fair but neither was hurting him either. Take the kick me sign off your back and come back to earth and be the woman I know you are, quit being a fucking pussy and start being a damn panther was what he said with pain in his voice.

What a piece of shit your pretty boy is honey, you are were you are at because of him yet you still wont let it go, you refuse to let anyone including me love and take care of you all because of some bullshit this guy has lead you to believe. I have everything you could ever possibly need or want and can easily get it for you and you know that, yet you still will not open the door to me, let me make love to you, help you financially or emotionally. I told him that was not true, he was helping me tremendously just being there and I had no words to express how much I appreciated him.

He was spot on with everything he said and I knew he was angry because he started saying shit in spanish and when he did that, that was the telltale sign of his anger. Tell me Kimberly do you seriously think he is working towards making you part of his life? Don’t think so babe and no you will never meet him so stop holding a candle for something that never was or will be. Damn, you piss me off so much honey and you are to much woman for that asshole, he doesn’t appreciate you and never will, you don’t mean shit to him and I am sorry to tell you that but we both know it’s the truth.

He got out of bed and picked up his Reid briefcase and set it on the bed, opened it and took out a file, I thought he was going to do some work but the file was for me. He handed me the file and I just shook my head so he laid it on the bed and opened it. Here is where you stand with Mr. Pretty he said as he laid out the glossy 8 x 10’s. You need to read the latest and greatest on pretty boy and let it go honey, please do it for me, this guy is an asshole, he is obviously not dumb but he is over confident and all the ignorant mistakes he makes is going to bite him in the ass, he said.

Your “man” runs in some pretty rich circles and likes money a lot and will do whatever he has to keep himself in the limelight. He told me the guy was a fucking loser, really look at his life, look on page ten second paragraph you will find that piece of information quite useful one day so please keep this file in the safe for your own protection. Remember all the days you went without simple necessities and that fuckhead is riding ponies? Kimberly, get your head out of your ass girl or do I have to make pretty boy look like the complete asshole he is in the circuit? The guy has some nice ponies but not the best nor does he have the connections that I have and just knowing what he has done to you makes me want to make him own it, ya own what he did to you. That would be so impressive in polo world he said. There is a certain way of life to those involved in the games of the r&f he said. There are certain do nots and he has at the very least touched on each and everyone of them.

Say the word Kimberly and he is a crushed bug, I can’t stand to know what he did to you and you didn’t have to suffer the way you have been for so long. Please let me love you babe, be my wife is all I ask so please make me the happiest man in the world and say yes. I could feel this man’s love and honest concern for my welfare but we needed to just take this a bit slower and let me get well first.

He said he wanted to show me something and he opened a file on his iPad and began to show me pictures of the Grand on Mackinaw, a house he was building with furnishings that I would have chosen, he showed me pictures of different awesome locations for lovers, beautiful ponies in their new paddock he had just built and he had pics of my favorite cars. It didn’t strike me until he said to me, this is all for you-I have everything you will ever need waiting for you to claim it. Your pretty boy can’t begin to compete with me he said, yes he has shared a meal with some fine names but financially I could have bought and paid for that asshole ten times over, he said.

Kimberly please give serious thought to marrying me, will you please he asked and I agreed I would give serious thought to it because he deserved to be treated well and not used but by being used it was obvious he had weeded out what he didn’t want in his life. He would be returning home in a few days and I had to make a decision before he left and I would one way or the other.