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I saw Fifty Shades of Grey today and I found it to be totally “flat” and somewhat boring at best. The actress got the part because her parents are both actors and she is definitely no actress and neither was is the actor that played Christian Grey.

As far as Christian Grey he lacked passion, in fact they both lacked desire and passion and even when they kissed I had to stifle a yawn. They did show a brief glance of him with unzipped pants that showed a fucking garden of over grown pubic hair.

The story line was unexciting as well and his deep seated desire to inflict pain on others stems from his own youth. The burns on his upper torso are never discussed or explained but are definitely part of his desire to be sadistic.

He never spends the night with anyone he has sex with and no female is welcome into his own bedroom. Anastasia is awkward and ill equipped to deal with Christian’s inability or so he thinks his inability to open himself up to true love.

He finds Anastasia to be what he has desired his entire life but his need to inflict pain upon her body is what destroys the relationship. If he would have opened up to her and treated her as his girlfriend instead of saying that she was his girlfriend things possibly could have been different.

His “play room” is equipped with numerous bdsm toys and his “contract” with Anastasia speaks about “kinky” sex toys but other than that the movie is without any interest in the bdsm world.

I was sorely disappointed in this movie and I would never pay to see it again. The only thing that would keep the interest of the crowd is the naked body of Anastasia. Men will be turned on by her smooth body and women will be bored to tears with it.