I was lying in bed last night and my room was lit up by the full moon, I stared out the window and looked at the moon and wondered when is my time to be really happy? When is it my time to laugh and play like the child I once was? I felt so alone and so lost as I have no one I can roll over and hug, no one I can let my tears fall upon and no one that cares if I am here tomorrow or not.

It’s a terrible feeling when you are consumed by loneliness and you wonder what is it going to take to bring happiness back into an empty life. Im so tired of being alone and I am so tired of being required to have all of the answers. I want sex, I want mad passionate love, I want to share my body, mind and soul with someone who appreciates what I have to offer. I could get laid with no problem at all but I want more than a stiff dick and a quick orgasm.

I don’t know if a man would even appreciate the fact that I haven’t been physical with another man in over six years. I do not know if they would care at all or if they would think there was something wrong with me. I cannot tell you how much I miss sex, how much I miss love, how much I miss sharing my life with another but if you are alone than you can appreciate how I feel.

I used to believe that someone out there would appreciate someone like myself but I do not know if that is true any longer. I do not know if there is anyone out there that would want to be with me on any level, may it be just mental or just physical or both. Im feeling pretty down as I am so tired of treading water and life being nothing but an uphill battle constantly and I am just so damn lonely and I hate it.