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Did you ever feel like taking a knife and forcing through your abdomen as if you needed to feel the immense pain? I wish I had the strength or weakness to do just that. Im not sure if it takes strength or does one need to be so weak to end their suffering?

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Im tired of living alone and spending my days alone and my nights run into the next day and back into night. Im just feeling so empty, so sad, so broken and damaged. I have so much to give the right person but he doesn’t doesn’t seem to want to come out of hiding.

Im not suicidal, I just want the emptiness and loneliness to end and I just want to laugh and smile and walk hand in hand in the rain. I dont feel worthy or someone who deserves to be loved.

I feel like the little kid who runs and hides under his bed because he is afraid of what is coming for him. I feel the black hand of doom shadowing over me wanting to see me suffer and in pain.

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