Tags

The sun gleamed through the window and danced across the wall as it continued to rise higher in the sky. She was in a melancholy mood as she removed each picture from the wall.

The pictures represented years of her life, years of her children’s lives and years of her marriage. Only she knew the deepest meaning of each and every 8 x 10 and only she felt the tug at her heart when she looked closely at some of the photographs.

She would remove a picture and slowly work her way down the ladder and place the framed photograph in the safety of the box below. Like so many others her photographs were her closest memories to a life once lived and shared.

She took several steps up the ladder and rested her eyes on one photograph in particular. The photo was of her and her husband with their daughter sitting in between them.

She remembered it has a happier time but not the happiest by a long shot. Her daughter was always dressed in cute dresses with matching hats as she was quite a hairless child until she was almost two years of age.

She was a cute little girl and her mother stood on the ladder with a smile sneaking out of the sides of her lips. She was remembering times that were funny regarding the growth and development of her daughter.

She never felt  close to her husband as he was the weaker of the two and she was always the dominant one. She controlled the finances, purchases, vacations and meals. He controlled the cleaning of the house, laundry, dishes and yard work.

Looking at the last few pictures on the wall she reached out and removed the one of her and her husband. It was a picture of their second year of marriage and meant nothing to her at all.

She started to waver on the ladder and she had to either grab the ladder and right herself or save the picture from breaking. She chose to safe herself and in slow motion she watched the picture tumble to the ground.

The frame it the ground and was left in splinters and the glass in shards. She let out a sigh not because of the damage to the picture but because of the mess she would have to clean up.

Her marriage was based on the pro creation of her daughter, not of love or respect as so many marriages are based upon. She was now on a mission to find real love and a relationship that would feed her intellectual side as well as her physical side.

The men that contacted her were not appealing either physically or mentally for the most part. The few men that she had been attracted to chatted with her and then disappeared.

She knew the kind of man she wanted, one that strong, secure, intelligent, sexy, romantic and knew when to lead and when to follow. She had pretty much given up on ever finding anyone to love and sexually she had realized her best friend contained two C batteries.

She wanted to be physical so bad with a man but her morals and ethics refused to allow her to have random sex. She needed a committment before she would have sex with anyone.

The commitment was that they were going to be sexually active with no one but each other. She had basically given up on ever finding that one that would make her world whole and she was living a very sad and lonely existence that she could not see ever-changing.

Advertisements