Let this music feed your soul, let it place peace in your heart and surround you with the beauty of the world.
Let this music feed your soul, let it place peace in your heart and surround you with the beauty of the world.
He had another rough night as the pain moved over his hip, knee, back and neck. He had early-onset arthritis so every time it rained or the humidity was high his body ached.
His body had betrayed him for as long as he could remember and now being middle-aged he was stuck in a wheel chair as the fear of falling was always a threat. He loved the world of bdsm and he loved the pain that he was able to experience through the lifestyle.
So many people couldn’t decipher between the pain of his illness and the pain inflicted on the body through s&m. As he aged he found it most difficult to find anyone that would play with him regardless of the fact that he was willing to pay for their time.
Ignorance was the controlling factor as so many had no idea what cerebral palsy was or how it affected its victim. His desire for tickle torture was so over bearing he couldn’t wait for his aid to put on his sox.
Little did his aid know that his feel were so sensitive that even the slightest touch and slipping on his sox was a pleasurable torture he so enjoyed. He had lived independently for many years but as he aged he needed help getting dressed and getting in and out of bed.
He spent his days replaying the role-playing he had done in his younger days. He stared out the window while petting his cat who had firmly planted herself on his lap. In his mind’s eye he could see days gone by where he was naked and being spanked and ordered about by his domme.
Age was a thief, a robber in the night as it not only took away his independence and replaced it with pain that was not of the pleasurable type. He wanted to play but he was treated like a leper by domme’s these days.
No one wanted to touch him as they were fearful of permanently harming him. They refused to take the time to understand his illness. He was quite capable of doing a bdsm session but just could not find an educated, secure domme.
Finally, as he trolled the bdsm websites he ran across that one domme that would take him on. She was not a dr. but made it her business to understand his illness and was willing to session with him.
He had made arrangements to pay her for travel and lodging expenses and he had negotiated with her a weekend of sessions. He was not a cheap man and had plenty of funds to pay her well as long as she held up her end of the bargain.
True to her word, she had arrived in town and had checked into her hotel room. She contacted him and made arrangements to meet him at his home. She knocked on the door and he opened it only to find a very beautiful domme.
He had seen pictures of her but they did not do her justice in the least bit. He opened the door and invited her in and she entered his home with a warm and friendly smile. She followed him into his dining room and he pulled out a chair for her.
He may have been confined to a wheel chair for the most part but that didn’t mean he couldn’t still be a gentleman. He asked her if she cared for something to drink and she accepted. He summoned his maid and she brought them both iced tea and a plate of freshly baked scones.
They discussed his experience in the bdsm world in detail, what he had experienced and what he wanted to experience again along with new desires. He had a private play room that had sat unused for the past ten years but today would be a new day and his toys would once again be enjoyed.
She followed him over to his gantry and she told him she was going to suspend him, spank him and do hot wax play. This got him so excited he was overcome with sexual desire.
He hadn’t had sex with a woman in twenty years but today he was very excited and willing to let her do whatever she chose to. She was very cautious when binding him and suspending him.
She had him suspended in a way that she could easily flog him and spank him. She was able to use the wench to raise and lower him to the perfect height for the type of play that she had chosen.
For wax play he needed to be lowered almost to the floor so the wax would cool as it cut through the air before reaching his body. She was cautious as well as she had a bag of ice near by in case the wax was to hot.
Once done with wax play she was able to position him in a way so he could enjoy a session of tease and denial. He hadnt experienced the touch of a woman in so long he could barely contain himself as she lightly touched his body.
She decided to do a bit of cbt first and put the clothespins on his cock and balls one at a time. She then attached the miniature clothes pin as they gave a much more intense type of pain.
His body was obviously loving the sensation as he dripped pre cum like a faucet. She then applied the tens unit pads and gave him several good jolts. This was so exciting for him that he orgasmed.
He couldn’t hold back and he was so enjoying himself that he immediately got another erection in a very short period of time. She introduced him to her hummingbird and once again he got so excited that he orgasmed.
She induced post orgasm torture and that was so damn intense. He had actually begged her to stop but she punished for a bit longer. Finally exhausted and thrilled with his session she released him from his suspension and wheeled him to his bed and helped him get in.
All he wanted was to take a nap as he was totally exhausted in a beautiful way. Once comfortable under the covers she slid in next to him and held him. Her touch and caring was so appreciated as he drifted off into a blissful rest.
It was going to be another year of high school nothing special just another boring year hanging with his boys. He carried his math book down by his side as he strolled through the hallways thinking of nothing special.
He turned the corner and there she was, a girl of beauty he had never even thought possible could exist. She had dropped her pencil and had bent over to pick it up and as she arose she looked at him through beautiful eyes.
He knew he had to have her, find out who she was, her name, where she lived. He saw her turn and walk away with some girls he knew and he would find out who she was before the end of the day.
The detective within him found one of the girls that “his girl” was walking with and he cornered her, ferreting out the information he sought out about his beauty. He let it be known he wanted to meet this girl, take her out, spend time with her.
Like most high school kids he used his channel of friends to get the message to her and they played the “do you want to get to know me” game. Her friends told her what a catch he was, how she was so lucky to have caught his eye and how she would be a fool if she didnt go out with him.
The football game Friday night would be a perfect opportunity to ask her if she would like to go with him. He walked by her locker every change he got hoping to run into her and he happened to come by at the perfect time.
She was reaching up to the top shelf trying to get a book that had been pushed further back and difficult to reach. He walked up and asked her if he could help her and sheepishly she said yes, could you please get me my book?
He reached up and grabbed the book for her with the vision of her skirt pulling up as she reached up for the book. He felt his heart race and he could feel beads of sweat form on his forehead.
Then he handed her the book and he asked her who her teacher was for english as he handed her the english book. He told her he had the same teacher the year prior and the class was easy.
They both smiled and let out a small laugh as their eyes met. He got over being nervous rather quickly as he felt so comfortable with this girl, as if he had known her forever.
He asked her to the game Friday night and that is how it all began. They dated and had no desire to want to date anyone else. They grew together over the few years of high school.
In their senior year they began to talk of their hopes, dreams and wishes and how they wanted careers, the house with the picket fence and the 2.5 children. They were a lovely couple that obviously fit together like a hand and glove.
Once they graduated they had a beautiful wedding and they went on to reach for their desired careers. They were a smart couple as they had put off having children until they were established.
On a cool Saturday morning they were in bed spooning and chatting and out of no where she felt sick. She ran to the bathroom and threw up and both of them thought she had the flu.
She waited but after several days of being very sick they began to wonder if she was pregnant. Both of the giddy with the thought of a child in her womb they were happy even if she was sick.
After a week of being very ill she went to the dr. as it wasnt normal to be so sick. The dr. ran tests and sent her home. She received a call from the dr. office and they requested her to come back in to see the dr.
She set the appt. and felt a knot in her stomach, the knot of fear of the unknown that we get when something isn’t right and we know it. She didn’t tell him about the appt or anyone else for that matter.
She went to the appointment and sat in the waiting room as her nerves began to build making her stomach churn with a sickening feeling. The nurse called her back but this time she didnt weigh her or give her a gown to put on.
The dr. came in and he was very stoic as he told her that she had cervical cancer and he gave her a name of a dr. that specialized in that type of cancer. The dr. answered as many questions as he could for her but it was obvious to her that it was painful for him to have to tell her such news.
She went home and told him the news and being a positive bloke he told her they would get through this together. They had been married five years and it was the happiest time for both of them but the time was nearing an end.
He held her hand through the chemo treatments and he told her he loved her even as she lost her hair and couldn’t keep anything she ate down. He loved her regardless of the illness.
It tore him apart to see her suffer so but his heart just wasnt ready to let her go. It took a toll on him as she withered away before his eyes. He would never love another woman the way he loved her and he sat by her bed and held her hand as she took her last breath.
He went through the next five months living in a form of denial as he refused to allow himself to grieve properly. His friends set him up on a blind date even though he wasnt ready.
He took her out and then brought her back to his place where she leaned over to kiss him. She placed her hand on his stiff cock and he immediately had a premature ejaculation.
This worried him terribly as this had never been a problem before and he feared this could be a permanent failure on his part. He then started to investigate the world of bdsm.
He had a dominant female friend that put a humbler on him and she pulled hard on it and once again he prematurely ejaculated. She was pissed he came on her floor and ordered him to lick up his own cum.
He had found a website, which was a way to connect with others in the bdsm world. She found him as she searched new members in her area, she reached out to him as she did many newbies.
She always tried to help those new to the lifestyle as with any website their were people who lied and used others. She tried to help newbies and protect them as she hated it when people took advantage of those new to the lifestyle.
She reached out to him and told him if he ever had any questions to feel free to contact her. She was a pro domme but she wasn’t soliciting him and she knew how his heart ached for the loss of his love.
She knew by chatting with him that he wasn’t allowing himself to grieve as he should. The loss was so painful he lived in denial as it made him feel safe. He was a handsome man, a man who would one day love again but that day would not be today or tomorrow.
She tried to get him to accept the fact that grieving is the only way to heal and that he wasnt ready to date again. His friends tried so hard to help him but he had to help himself first.
He had to let the pain in his heart escape and that was the hardest thing he had ever done. Trying to let go because the pain meant she was still with him and he just didn’t want to let her go.
His new friend the domme brought him into her fold and she played with him. She didn’t charge him but she did let him experience different things in the bdsm world. Her goal was to help him with the premature ejaculation and she knew that this problem was directly associated with the loss of his wife.
His denial of grieving and the fact that he was depressed didn’t help the situation at all. He listened intently to his new friend and he knew she was right, he knew he needed to deal with the loss instead of burying it.
He enjoyed pain and his domme decided to teach him the joys of cbt. She tied his ankles together and hooked him to a wench that lifted him up off of the floor feet first. She tied a belt just below his knees as he hung like a fish on a hook.
She started giving him a good caning on his ass and then his balls. By the time she was done his ass had welts and his balls were black and blue. He enjoyed the cbt session but his main concern was his pre ejaculation issues.
He was young and strong and should not be dealing with pre ejac issues. The domme put a humbler on his balls and pulled hard on it and he ejaculated all over the floor. She then ordered him to lick up every drop.
She released him from the gantry and handcuffed him to the ceiling eye bolts. She put the parachute on his balls then put a can of soup on it to be used as weights. His balls were pulled down as she stroked his cock.
Just as he was ready to cum she wrapped his cock in a semi frozen bag of ice which took away his erection. She did this several times and finally he begged her to let him cum
She told him she would allow him an orgasm and as he built up to cum he was over come with the strongest orgasm of his life. It was the longest and strongest orgasm he had ever experienced.
She let him go and he gave her a hug and thanked her for her time and the lessons she had taught him. He told her he would visit her again and hopefully she could stop his pre ejac all together.
You tried to play me last October trying to find out if I still had the nude pictures of you that you sent me. Yes, I still have them and no I am not the type of woman who would post them online.
You thought I was so stupid to fall for your line of wanting me to help you business wise in the states and cook for you. Do you really think I was that stupid to think that you would need anything that I may have information about or the ability to do for you?
You are very wealthy and you buy everything and everyone and it is nauseating to see you fall into the same category as so many other wealthy people. You think you are so much better than most people and the only love you will ever have in your life with either be bought or your sister Gabriella.
I had no idea who you were when you first contacted me but you just couldn’t be happy with anonymity could you? No, you had to be sure that I knew who you were because that is the only way you felt you could get my attention.
I pray for you because you are shallow and even though you may be a romantic you know nothing of love or how to truly love. I offered you friendship because that is more important than love in my book.
You contact me and act like an ass and you make me want to puke because it sickens me how you act. Grow up because you are an old man and your days are numbered and if you want real love then be a real man for a change.
If you ever plan on spending a moment in my presence then you need to be the man God meant you to be, not the man who money has made of you. Quit being a dick and step up to the plate and treat me like the woman I deserve to be treated like.
The hardest thing to get over is losing the love in your life. You may lose that love by your own choice by ending the relationship and walking away. You can also lose that love by the person leaving you behind and calling it quits.
Nothing hurts more than watching someone you once loved or still love moving into the arms of another. When relationships end it hurts both people but usually not at the same time.
The one that leaves doesn’t feel the pain right away as they generally leave for another. They climb into the bed and arms of a new love but it isnt love at it as it is infatuation.
After the infatuation wears off you see the person for what they want from you and its usually marriage. When the newness wears off you start to weigh your options and the one you left doesn’t look like such a bad bet after all.
You already know the person and what to expect from them and you have a history that spans numerous years. You have grown with that person, raised your family, your career has grown and you have many fond memories.
The new one in your life begins to pressure you for more than just your time, they want your name attached to theirs and they want on your bank account as well. If you are dating a younger woman she wants to produce a child that will bind the two of you.
If you are smart you see where the relationship is heading and you know you do not want to walk that path again. You do not want to be father or husband as you are escaping a relationship so you can experience things as a single adult.
So many occasions are reminders of easier, happier times and yes the melancholy can overtake us. Once we make the move to leave our marriage behind there is no turning back there is no mending the damage.
Once we file for divorce the anger and pain rips open a gaping hole of pain tha can never be repaired. We can try to go home but we never can no matter how hard we try to repair the damage.
Being alone teaches us so much about life and about ourselves but once we are done playing the single game we once again want to settle with one person. We are not looking for marriage again right away but we are looking for a partner that stimulates us mentally as well as physically.
It isn’t so easy to open our heart up again to love because so many want to be with us for what we have and who we are. If you find someone who has no interest in your wallet grab that person and kiss them deep. A simple kiss will tell you all you need to know as it is true it is all in the kiss.
He was born under the alignment of stars that lead to fame and wealth and he was given a girl that he would meet when they were both in their teens. She would become his wife and produce four healthy sons but never a daughter could she produce.
As He became more and more famous and the money rolled in on cargo ships they learned how to live a life of wealth and little effort on their part to live a normal life. They had a maid or two and they never wanted for anything.
She didn’t want to cook or do laundry like other wives as the money allowed her to follow her passion which was in clothing and design. He did what he loved which was playing the game that was so well-known around the world.
He tried to be a good husband and father but there was a part of him that always wanted to run free and wild. He had a side of him that he would never show his wife or anyone for that matter.
He traveled extensively and his family had seen so much of the world that travel would be something that was taken for granted. He gave his family everything their hearts desired that could be purchased and that is what made his family become distant.
His children would never know how to do many things for themselves like he had learned as a young boy. He bought his children every new technology device and he bought them their careers as well.
As the years past his marital relationship became sexually boring and distant and neither he or his wife were really happy. They bought there happiness which only lasted momentarily.
He found himself straying from the marital bed to be in a young girls bed and between her sheets and thighs. She made him feel so desirable as she flirted and teased him and finally opening her body to him.
She knew what she had and having a wealthy famous married man who would buy her whatever her heart pleased as long as he got laid. She knew the power she had over an older man and she didn’t hold back one second.
The relationship started out casual and fun but the closer his divorce came the more obvious it became that his young girlfriend wanted to marry and she would stop at nothing to get that ring on her finger.
What she didn’t know was he was enjoying the sex and spending time with her but he would eventually grow tired of her. the age difference was too much as he needed a woman who could mentally challenge him as well as stimulate him.
He had finally realized that he needed to be single, yes totally single and he had to break it off with his young mistress. This was difficult to do but he knew he would never marry her and he would never be happy with her.
He continued to follow the one woman who had grabbed his attention six years prior. He read every word that she wrote and he fantasized about being with her. This woman was someone who scared the shit out of him as she would and could easily reject him as is money and power had absolutely no effect on her.
She wasnt a woman impressed by gifts or wealth and she had no desire to be with anyone famous and wealthy as he was. That was exactly how he had lived his life by using his fame and wealth to open any door of his choosing.
Like the woman he followed he believed in karma, astrology and soul mates and no matter how he tried to forget the woman he just could never turn and walk away. Yes, he had had his flings with other women but none of them touched him the way she did.
He wanted to meet the woman so badly but his fear of her rejecting him was to strong for him to overcome. He knew that he had done things and said things to her online that hurt her and he feared that she would slap the shit out of him if he were ever to meet her.
He thought he knew this woman so well but he didn’t know her at all and like him she wanted to meet him just to get the unanswered questions but to rest. She wanted to know if there was an attraction between the two that was undeniable and had nothing to look with appearances.
She needed to know if they were meant to be in each others lives as she had felt since the moment he reached out to her online. He would try to forget her but he would never succeed because they were tied together by the red string of fate.