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Show Me Love

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Show Me Love

Benediction

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Benediction

Giant In My Heart

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Giant In My Heart

Eric Benét – Love Don’t Love Me

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Eric Benét - Love Don't Love Me

Klingande Feat Broken Back

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Klingande Feat Broken Back

I Will For Love

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I Will For Love

 

Heaven

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Heaven

The Spread

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The Spread

So many people do not realize that it’s not who you spend Friday night with that counts, it’s the one you spend all day Saturday with that makes the grade. When you feel comfortable with someone you have no problem having oral sex with that person and kissing afterwards.

So many women are uncomfortable with their bodies and fellatio is as foreign to them as escargot. Like most women I feel awkward the first couple of times I am naked with a man in the same bed.

It’s funny how I feel slightly uncomfortable when I am naked in front of a man the first several times we are together but I can piss in front of him with no problem. I am very open sexually and I enjoy the exploration of a mans body.

I write a lot of erotica because it’s the only way I can express my  sexual side safely. I refuse to have sex with a man who isn’t going to be around for a while. I will never sell myself short and I will never hook up with a guy for what he has.

I have dated very successful men and have been flown many places to meet them and have even traveled around the world to different places to spend time with them.  I have found that men with money are into themselves and blow their own horn way to much.

I have always been an independent woman and I have never been able to take financial help from any man.  I don’t want a man to support me I want to support myself and my kids.

I want a man that is successful because those type of men keep me mentally stimulated. They feed my intellectual side and they challenge me as well and that is what I need.

The man I am currently dating has read quite a bit of my erotica blog and he told me he felt very intimidated by what he read. He said to me that I come across so damn independent that he felt like I had no use for him other than to use him sexually.

This doesn’t surprise me as most men are intimidated by me and the biggest turn on for me is a guy  that doesn’t fear me. He can see that I am just as nervous and insecure as he is.

A strong, independent woman is a turn on for a guy but he has to get past his own insecurities to enjoy what she has to offer.  A real man will go after the woman he wants and he doesn’t let anything or anyone stand in his way.

Friedrich Nietzsche,

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Friedrich Nietzsche

Without music, life would be a mistake

Painful

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Painful, Painfull

“The most painful thing about life is growing up”  Kimberly

Matthew 23:12

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Matthew 23:12

Here

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Here

Do you ever sit and wonder how you got where you are today? The path that you have walked and the cracks that have tripped up your life. Have you ever wondered what God’s grander plan is for you?

In our youth we are given talents that we share with others in many different ways. We could be a great chef, athlete, musician ect. but what happens when the music stops?

What happens when the run of our youth takes a final spill and puts us permanently on the side lines. Who are we then? Who do we become? I believe we are tested in many different ways and God gives us the ability to do good or to choose being evil.

Some of us become wealthy and self-absorbed while others live hand to mouth and give everything they can to help another.  It does not make a better man out of the one that is mean and hateful.

We find that karma not only seeks us out, karma teaches us how to learn valuable lessons. So many refuse to believe in aki ito or unmei no akai ito but it is true and it does exist.

We may seek out only  beauty of the eye while we pass the one person that is beautiful from within. We keep coming back to that one person and it may be for only a moment but we keep coming back, why is that?

Have you ever wondered why you cannot let go of that one person that is at the end of your finger tips? You may have never met but the connection is so strong that even you could not walk away.

Do you ever wonder why that person was brought into your life? Why you keep connected to that person? You may find the connection through the written word of that person or you may find the connection another way but the connection is there regardless.

When someone you have never met face to face touches your life on a regular basis that person is part of your karmic debt. That one individual is the only person that can fulfill part of the karma that follows you.

That very person could be the one that gives you the love that you have searched for your entire life. That very person could be the one that has the power to fill your heart like it has never been filled before. Do not be foolish and let that person slip through your fingers and out of your life as what is meant to be is meant to be and if you are smart you will allow yourself to feel what is meant to be felt, finally.

Facade

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Facade

I have always been a secure and independent female but I also have my moments of self-doubt and insecurity. The one thing I have learned in life is the importance of truth and how it controls our lives.

When we are honest and truthful we live a much healthier life and we tend to be much happier. This is the problem with so many people as they  pretend to be someone they are not or they use their power to control others.

By being an insecure individual is to be a liar to ourselves as we fear being rejected by the very person that will make us happy. When we are used to buying people instead of making normal and healthy relationships we begin the cycle of insecurity.

We ask ourselves “is this person in my life for me or for what I have?”  and if you are well off chances are high that you are being used for what you have. If you are fortunate to meet someone who has no desire to live for materialism and caring for others and giving love freely is part of their makeup you damn well better grab hold of that person before they slip away.

This is a common problem with wealthy people as they begin to live a life of insecurity and in turn they become manipulating and controlling in their personal as well as business life.

The very person they admire, desire and so wish to be with is the very person that scares the hell out of them. They fear that the person they desire can see through their facade and see that they are nothing more than insecure individuals that are in dire need of real love and affection.

We can sit back from a distance and read every word the person we wish to be with writes and look at every picture of the person. What does this do? Nothing more than make us fantasize and wonder what that person would really feel like, what they would think of us.

If you are willing to be honest with yourself then you can be honest with that one person you so desire. Being honest builds the relationship you have always dreamed of but never obtained, being honest will open a door that has been shut for a very long time.

The Thrust

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The Thrust

That sat across from each other drinking a sauvignon and enjoying the company of one another. They chatted about non consequential things and the typical small talk that two people talk about when enjoying a fine dinner.

The dinner was exquisite as they shared Coquilles Saint-Jacques and then they moved on to baked camembert with a lovely red Bordeaux. the next course was Moules Marinieres and they drank a blond Belgian ale with their meal.

They finished their meal with a clafoutis, traditionally made with cherries but they switched the cherries  for rhubarb. Their dinner was thoroughly enjoyed by both and he watched her intently as she inserted a fork full of food gracefully into her mouth.

There was something so sensual about the way she ate, the way she looked at him, the way she gently touched his hand with her own. She dipped her index finger into the juice from the rhubarb and slipped her finger into his mouth.

Then she brought her finger to her own mouth and slowly licked the tip of it as she looked deep into his eyes. He was so aroused by this woman he thought he would pre ejaculate right there at the dinner table.

She brought up the subject of movies and asked him if he liked to watch porno and of course he said yes. She began to share the story line of the latest porno she had watched and she was so descriptive he felt as if he was living the story line himself.

She described how the woman was leaning over into the trunk of her car and the man walked up behind her. He slipped his hands up under her dress only to find the woman was wearing nothing underneath.

He lifted her dress up and threw it on her back as he fell to his knees and buried his face into her ass. He forced her legs apart farther and farther until he could bury his face into the richness of her very essence.

He licked and sucked and she spread her legs further and further apart forcing herself down onto his tongue. He buried his tongue into her and she exploded into his mouth, squirting her juices of excitement down his throat.

He lifted himself up and grabbed her hair while he thrust his hard cock into the wetness he had just left. He pounded her over and over, deeper and deeper until he exploded. He continued to bury is cock into her and to his surprise he had another orgasm as she begged him to fill her with every inch of his manhood.

The story was so erotic and sexually enticing he wanted to experience it first hand and he told her so.  They both just laughed and finished up their wine and exited the restaurant.

He walked her to his car hand in hand and he stopped under the full moon and kissed her deeply and passionately. As they walked up behind his car he said to her ” o no the damn car has a flat”.

They stood behind the car as he opened the trunk and he kissed her and rubbed her breasts slipping his hand under the cloth and into her half cup bra. He pinched her nipple as he kissed her and ground his hard cock into her groin and they both moaned like two young kids.

He kissed her several more times and spun her around and buried his hand into the back of her head grabbing a hand full of her hair. He forced her to bend over into the trunk of the car and he slipped his hands up under her dress.

He let his hands roam over the satin panties she was wearing and he pulled them down to her knees. He forced her legs apart and he fell to his knees. He buried his face into her ass and as she spread further he moved forward to her clit.

Just as she had described the porno he followed suit and replayed the storyline without missing a beat.  They both exploded with delicious orgasms and decided to take their love making back to his place where they spent the rest of the evening making passionate love until they fell asleep in each others arms.

One Or Two

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One Or Two

I think I am being followed online by two men but I am not sure.  Someone tells me to forget about the one guy that I have a soul mate connection with. I think it’s the other guy trying to get me to turn my back on my soul mate.

So, here I am not sure if it is the one I consider my soulmate telling me to basically “fuck off and get a life without thinking about him” or if it is the other guy wanting me to forget about the first one.

I found my blog had been hacked and a post that said “and I love you so” which I didn’t write, hell why would I write that??? Then I keep getting contacted by different men with profiles.

I am doing what I have to do to support myself and my children and no it isn’t easy but I am a mother that will do whatever is necessary to protect my young.  I know they are both of legal age but that doesn’t make them capable of caring for themselves just yet.

Most people would be blown away if they knew what I did to bring in extra funds but I am not prostituting my body and I am not stealing. I am a very dependable person and once I sell my house and down size things will be much easier for me.

Back to my one or two men, I have no idea why either man will not meet me and I am pretty sure the one finally is divorced. He was dating a woman fifteen years younger than himself and we all know what he is or was getting out of that relationship.

Men need to feel desirable and they will date someone younger because they get pussy, attention, hero worshipped and they get to teach the younger mate. Then the younger mate wants to get married and have kids and the man either  ends the relationship because he is smart enough to know that the age difference will eventually destroy the relationship or….

He feels like she will always make him feel desirable but the truth is she isn’t on the same level in life as he is. She will tire of taking care of her “elderly” husband and she will look for a man closer to her own age.

I am seeing so many clients that are older gentlemen with younger wives that have left them. They are now 45-50 yrs old with kids 3-5 yrs old, they are paying child support and paying all of her bills.

They ask me “where were you five years ago?” I understand what they are going through and how they got in the situation in the first place. A smart man will never remarry someone who is older or younger than a ten-year difference.

I may be 55 but I am someone who thinks young and I get on really well with much younger people. My body may not be one of a thirty year old but sexually I can out fuck any woman 20 yrs younger than myself.

I am a very sensual and sexual woman and I know how to please a man but more than that I know how to please myself. I am comfortable in my skin, not ashamed of the stretch marks and extra pounds.

I have been given the gift of words and through those words I have expressed much pain and loss. I have touched others in a way that no ones else ever could and through my words I can excite a man to the point that he takes his own pleasure in the palm of his hand.

I have yet to have sex with another man other than my husband because I have not met the man worth sharing my body with.  I hate being sexless and I look forward to opening myself up again to the feel of a man inside of me.

Vorfreude

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Vorfreude

Not everyone has an exciting life and even those that do have times that are so mundane even they are bored to tears. I find wonder in imagining future pleasures, may they be doing something as simple as catching my limit of perch for the day or be it thinking about my next sexual encounter with the one I adore.

The very thought of pushing him against the  way and placing my knee firmly between his knees and forcing his legs open makes he hot. I find excitement in thinking of kissing him and running my hand over his chest and down to his groin.

The very thought of rubbing his masculinity through his trousers is a turn on for me. The very thought that my kisses make him hard with desire makes me wet with pleasure.

I find simple pleasure in allowing my minds eye to undress him, one button at a time and then to go over his body with kisses. The thought of slowly lowering myself into a kneeling position before him makes me ache with desire.

Knowing that he is going to enjoy my kissing and caressing his cock makes me feel powerful and desirable. The very thought of running my hands over his muscular ass cheeks makes me want to beg for more.

Taking him in one hand as the other caresses his balls makes my mouth water as I slowly take him deep within the darkness of my throat.  Giving him oral sex is exciting and so special I think of it with vorfreude.

One day he will tire of the foolish and silliness of the young women he tastes and he will want to be with a woman who knows the pure pleasures of unadulterated sexual pleasures. One day he will realize the only one for him is the one he stalks like the cheetah after the antelope.

To Control

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To Control

The man who thinks he is controlling others is the one that is being controlled by the very person he wishes to control. To constantly read what another has written and reread that person words over and over shows who the true controller is.

Samuel Johnson, The Rambler

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Samuel Johnson, The Rambler

“Almost all absurdity of conduct arises from the imitation of those whom we cannot resemble.”

Fiesta de quince

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Fiesta de quince

Latinos love their fiestas and they celebrate every occasion that one can think of, as a girl becomes a woman she is “introduced” to society with a party called the fiesta de quince. 

Different countries such as Mexico refer to this fiesta as a quinceanera and the United States calls the parties debutante balls  I had the honor of attending the fiesta de quince of the gentleman I am currently dating. He is a businessman that lives in another state so we only see each other on the weekends when he comes to see me or has his plane sent to pick me up and take me to him.

His family for the most part still live in Peru and his parents are both still alive so I had quite the honor of sharing this special occasion with his familia.  His daughter is a beautiful, intelligent young lady that had her fifteenth birthday Friday evening.

He surprised me with a lovely outfit he had picked out for me to wear. I have found that the latino community has no problemo with women dressing sexy and wearing heavy makeup.

I do not wear much makeup but for this occasion I did wear more than usual. I am a very  lucky woman to have met such a gentleman with such great taste and huge heart to go with it.

He is always giving me gifts which I am not comfortable with but when I refused the first several I could tell I really upset him.  Now when he gives me a gift I show my appreciation in private, special ways.

His x-wife was a typical latino woman who was raised to care for her husband and produce children. The women are not talked to about sexual relationships or how to keep their husbands pleased in the bedroom.

We have been dating for quite sometime but I have refused to have sex with him as I am not in love with him in the least. I really enjoy his company and he is very attractive and built like a brick shit house.

He is what every woman would want in a man but for me there is something missing. Yes, I can travel anywhere I wish to with him and I can literally have anything my heart desires but I am a simple woman who wants for very little.

The one thing that all latino men have in common is their arrogance from what I have experienced. What they fail to realize is being mean to someone doesn’t make them a better man, being rude and nasty doesnt get them further in God’s eyes and being someone who thinks they have it all really has nothing.

Stitches

Hubris

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Hubris

An arrogant man will always be the loneliest person on this earth. To find yourself to be better than others and to use your power to control and manipulate will in the end leave you to be a very lonely man.

The man who thinks no woman will ever walk away from him will find the one woman he desires is the very one that not only will walk away but will spit in the face of the arrogant male.

Can you redeem yourself? When you insult and hurt others and think you can control them and use them you will find yourself to be less of a man. To redeem yourself is to accept your failings and be kind to the very one you need as well as desire.

What you fail to see is the very one you think you are controlling is actually controlling you.  You keep following this person, insulting, degrade them and continue to have contact with them. Who is the controller now?????? Not the arrogant male but his victim……..

Summer

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summer

Medicine Woman

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Medicine Woman

Thomas Merton

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Thomas Merton

Love is our true destiny. We do not find the meaning of life by ourselves alone – we find it with another.

 

Pearl Bailey

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Pearl Bailey

You never find yourself until you face the truth

Benjamin Disraeli

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Benjamin Disraeli

“The greatest good you can do for another is not just share

your riches, but to reveal to him his own.”