I knew something was going on the past few weeks as you blew me off everytime I called.Your experience with the internship at the Attorney General’s is one most people never get the opportunity to experience. You have worked damn hard and to get your Bachelors degree in three years is something few people achieve let alone strive for. I know I don’t know as much as you and your brother but sometimes I do know what I am talking about. I knew that you would meet someone if you let yourself and of course when life steps in you have no control. Leo is a nice kid but that is exactly what he is, still a kid and he would never have satisfied you mentally. You need to date other people so you can decide for yourself who you really want to spend the majority of your life with, hopefully forever.
It was really hard for me to drive away leaving you in D.C. and yes I fought back the tears. I wish I could show you kids how I really feel but I wasn’t raised that way and grandma pat was never the warm and fuzzy type of person, as you know. She was extremely abusive emotionally as well as physically and I refused to raise you and your brother the same way I was. I have tried to make a better life for you and Ryan and I know you two never will have to experience the pain and loneliness that I have felt basically my entire life. I want you to be happy and never turn down an opportunity that could teach you so much, just as this D.C. experience has. It took all I had not to break into a crying scene when I left you at your apartment but I just didn’t want you to see me cry. You kids think I am so strong and I guess I do not want you to ever think that I am a weak person. Tears do not make us weak but some of us just don’t know how to handle our own tears.
Please do not lose sight of your desire to be an attorney because you have met someone new. Law school will be over before you know it and you will be an attorney. I know this may seem impossible but I to know how it feels to meet someone that makes your heart skip a beat, you think constantly about and want to spend every moment with. Yes, I may be an old woman but I remember those days that love was fresh and knew and I wanted nothing more than to be one with that person. The only thing I will ask of you is that you do not have sex with him until you know him better. I am not saying that you would but your sex life is none of my business and I am not one to judge. When you have sex with someone you are giving a part of yourself that you can never get back. I would hate to see you give yourself to someone and find out that your feelings lead you astray for awhile. I love you so much and I miss you terribly but I have to step back and let you grow and come into your own. There is nothing harder for a parent than to watch their children fledge, but the greatest reward is when you watch your children soar. Yes, I came up with that all on my own,lol.
Love you to pieces, Mom