, , , ,

Did you ever notice how certain days stick in your memory like gum to your shoe?Like the athlete who was the top scorer in their sport for years and then all of a sudden someone takes that away.

We tend to remember happy days as well as sad days but never the less those days have been a milestone of sorts in our lives.Why can’t we just forget all of the memories take that us back to a place we do not want to be?

Yesterday would have been my husband’s birthday if he were still alive. I started thinking about his birthday several days ago. As most of us when we celebrate an occasion like a birthday or an anniversary we plan ahead to make that occasion special.

My husband and I never made a big deal out of our birthdays and our anniversary we forgot more often than not. I know, one should be able to remember their anniversary but in my case it wasn’t a time of being over joyed.

So many people are thrilled the day they get married but I was not. We married strictly because I got pregnant. I didnt do this all on my own mind you and I was even on the pill but my body had an agenda of its own.

We went to the Justice of the Peace, said our vows and then went home and he finished moving from his apartment to my home. We spent the day moving furniture and for dinner we had pizza.

Now isn’t that a great way to remember your wedding night? Yes, it was just another day to me and the pizza didnt stay down for long. I can tell you from experience that I wasnt to intelligent regarding relationship material and my husband was a very poor choice.

We didnt love each other but I was raised in a divorced family and I didnt want my child to feel the pain of growing up with one parent and visiting with the other, that is if the other took the time to do their part.

My husband saw a woman, a very independant woman who owned two businesses, her own home, two cars and worked full time at the steel mill as an industrial electrician. He had lost everything in a divorce and I looked like quite the catch.

It never occurred to me that someone would be with me for what I had but that was more than obvious the case as the years drug on. My husband wanted in my financial back pocket so bad he lied to me about how many times he had been married.

He also lied about how many kids he had fathered. He also told me that neither one of his children would ever be living with us but of course that was a lie as well. His ex wife literally dumped his thirteen year old daughter on our door step three months after we married.

She was a very angry and bitter ex wife and she figured if she dumped the kid on us that our marriage would fail. It didn’t fail but I can tell you that the ex wife used the daughter to get info about her ex and what we were doing.

This caused many a rift in the house but we survived the stormy weather. When I got pregnant with my son my second step daughter went on a nut and sure as shit she got herself pregnant within three months.

She figured if she got pregnant that her child would come before my child and that would cause us to divorce. Unfortunately for you and myself my husband had no interest in his son let alone his only grandchild.

My husband was wrapped up in his job and being at the top of the ladder he thrived on prestige of his position. He so loved having the power to control people and his family basically meant nothing to him.

My son was in kindergarten when my husband had his leg amputated and he never did a damn thing with my son. As a father, the only time he spent with my son was to watch a movie once in awhile.

My husband catered to my daughter and totally blew off my son. So yesterday was just a memory of someone I wish I could forget. There was just to much pain in my relationship and the marriage was in the end,  financially beneficial to my husband and for myself two children I love dearly.