Isn’t it funny how you can wrap up a twenty five year relationship in a matter of under a minute? Ask anyone how long it would take them to sign divorce papers and they will tell you under five minutes, that is if things are cut and dried.
We meet someone, our heart skips a beat, we decide to marry, raise a family and what happens so often is we lose respect for our partner. We learn all about our partner’s shortcomings as well as strengths.
We know how to really piss off our partner or how to make them really happy. Over the years you learn how to deal with your partner’s every emotion. We come to know our partner so well, or so we think.
Our marriage has become predictable and boring as hell and even our sex life is nothing more than an achieved orgasm, which of course any man can give himself and if he’s really good he can gain a stroke as he switches hands.
You watch the 11:00 pm news, go to bed without any excitement, wake up, go to work and do it all again the next day. You wake up thinking about how you, at one time, you didn’t want to go to sleep and miss a single moment of your partner’s life but now you would prefer not to even see your partner.
You wake up and out of nowhere you ask yourself “who is this person” lying next to you. You wonder what went wrong and how you ended up on one side of the bed. You go to work not looking to cheat or even to meet anyone exciting.
Then, wam out of the blue you meet someone that knocks your sox off. You get that giddy, silly feeling and everything about you changes. People around you notice you smiling and getting lost in thought.
People have no idea you, you of all people would ever have an affair let alone glance at someone that draws your attention. You are perfect in every way, you work, pay the bills, fuck the wife once every three months, if you are lucky.
You find yourself emotionally fucked up over someone and you want to be with that person all of the time. You begin to meet this new person as often as you can and then you find that you have gotten yourself all wrapped up in fantasizing and thinking about this person.
Finally, you find yourself wanting to help the person out not only emotionally but financially and physically and you so want to taste that person. You find yourself masturbating to the vision of that person in your mind.
You find yourself rubbing one off in the bathroom at work and you find yourself horny all of the time. The two of you make the decision to cross over and the passion and excitement in the bedroom is awesome.
You begin to steal moments away which have lead to months and one day lieing in a hotel bed in France with the rain beating against the window she asks the question. The question we do not want to hear or deal with but we knew it was going to eventually be asked and the unspoken words have finally escaped the lips.
When are you getting a divorce? Now the relationship is no longer fun and games but serious decisions have to be made. What we really want is a hall pass, a chance to go out with other people and find the passion in life once again.
We cannot blame our mate for the staleness of our marriage and we cannot blame them for how dead we feel inside. We are so taken by that giddy feeling that we want nothing more than to be with that person that lights up our lives.
We forget about how we used to feel about our mate and we begin to plan a major change in our relationship. We move out of our home into an apartment or even in with the person of our affection.
So you have let yourself stray from the marital relationship and the person was or is probably younger than you. That person made you feel young once again and they make you feel desirable and who doesn’t like to feel desirable?
To move out gives you a chance to be by yourself, coming home to an empty house or maybe a pet, you grab a frozen dinner, microwave and watch tv. You crack a beer or have a glass of wine and you reflect.
When you first move out you are like a kid in a candy store as you display your personality through the way you have decorated your apartment. You give a key to the new person in your life and over time you realize you have fucked up.
You do not want to marry this person and you do not like the way they have all of these little annoying habits. The sex which was once fantastic has also slowed down quite a bit. Once again you have to make a decision that you do not want to deal with.
You know you do not want to go back home but you also know you do not want the new person to have a key let alone much of your time any longer. When the other person realizes that the relationship is going nowhere they begin to look for a new partner while you are trying to figure out how to end the relationship.
You are someone trying to capture a time long ago lived and you find you do not enjoy reliving those days. Once enjoying being a professional soccer player in his youth he now plays golf-a safe geriatric game that is personally challenging and you can even play with yourself.
You make it through three months of monogamous dating and your lives have fallen into a pattern. It always seems that one person wants the fun but no commitment while the other one wants a commitment around the third month.
You no longer enjoy going to the bar, clubbing, partying of any kind and all you want is to meet that one person that will complete you. You want more than giddy and silly feelings you want that one person that is literally your better half.
You now are not only dealing with a soon to be x you are now dealing with the soon to be gone snatch. You finally realize you want to be alone, you need to be alone and you find yourself spending a lot of time alone.
You go through a growth period of finding yourself. You are not the same person you were a year ago and you wont be the same person a year from now. You reach a point that you want a friend, a friend that you can enjoy spending time with. You don’t look for sex you look for depth in a person, someone intelligent, funny, warm, caring, considerate, a great cook and a great fuck.
This person will not be someone younger than you they may be around your age or around ten years older. You find this person to be on your level in every way and when you think about that person your heart feels something it hasnt felt in a very long time.
You find yourself having feelings on a deep, mature level and you really want to kick back and enjoy your so called golden years with someone that makes you laugh, makes you feel happy.
Isn’t that the way things usually happen?