I grew up in a very poor household and I told myself one day I would have the simple luxury’s that I did without as a child.The nickel candy bar was to expensive just as the icre cream truck was as well. No I am not complaining just explaining my early years.

I had always been different and even my choice of employment was a clear cut sign of an independent woman. I hired in as a laborer and worked my way up to an A class industrial electrician.

I made quite a bit more money than my friends but it wasn’t easy money to earn. I loved getting my own apartment with brand new furniture and I so enjoyed driving a brand new car.

I thought I had really made it and I paid little attention to the things that would come to mean the most to me. I thought I was complete because I could purchase just about anything my heart desired.

I went through the years of thinking that I was better than some of my friends but the truth was I was no better just caught up in the control of materialism. It never occurred to me that one day I would have no family alive and how lonely I would truly feel.

Every year since 2009 I have had to bury a family member up until 2015 when my mother passed. I do have a sister but she is the devil’s spawn and I refuse to have an evil person of her caliber near me.

So here I sit by myself listening to the rain hit the window by myself and I have learned much in the past five years  I have learned that nothing would make me happier than to have someone i could laugh with, someone I could tell my secrets to, someone I could share good and bad times with.

I dont want to get married again even though my astrologer said I will marry twice, I sure hope she is wrong. I do not want to control anyone and I want to encourage that person to follow their dreams. 

I want to have fun and great sex and nothing but laughter every day. I want to sit on the back porch and listen to the crickets. I want to hold hands and walk in the mist just happy to be with that person, is this to much to ask?

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