This month has been one of many changes, some very difficult decisions had to be made and I had to finally weigh out what was more important to me. My home is my entire personal worth and every time I have to lower the asking price the less I have to work with in the end.

My home is beautiful but empty and filled with negative energy. I feel not an ounce of love or caring inside these four walls. I lowered the price and trying to sell the rv as well so I can be free. So many changes making me feel like I am bouncing all over.

I will rent a home once I sell this one because that gives me time to decide where I want to put down roots. My son is off on an adventure that has taken him down a very bad path but I have to cut the strings and let him learn the hard way.

My daughter will be moving to Lansing later in august and it will be just the dogs, cats and myself. I do nothing all day as I twisted my ankle and have to stay off of it. It’s funny how things happen in our lives, now isn’t it?

My son treated me terribly and I had to eradicate him from my life because he was slowly killing me. He is going to have a baby in December and he has nothing as he left for Texas thinking he would find a better life.

Well, things didnt go so well and the people he was staying with he hit the husband and now has an assault charge against him. I cannot allow myself to help him no matter how much I want to .  

Now that the kids have their chosen paths to walk on I also have mine as well. I can finally allow myself to care for someone, I can finally open myself up to love and affection again without outside issues causing problems.

I decided not to get involved with anyone as long as my kids were under my roof and that was a smart decision. You tend to want to always protect your young no matter what but I cannot and will not let my kids dictate my personal life.

The very though of selling this house and moving to some place that I am not obligated to maintain for a month to month or even six month contract. Yes, its time for changes and every change I make is another one in the right direction.

I know what I want and I really have no desire to deal with people that are flighty and cant seem to get themselves focused. No, they want to keep playing stupid games like wanting to be told over and over that I wanted them.

That was like a month ago and I havent heard from him since-he did the same thing a year ago. Finally, told me about two months ago he was living with his girlfriend. I respected the fact that he didnt meet me while boning her.

I dont worry about speaking with him again because we are kismet and no distance can every keep us truly apart. We have a deep spiritual connection  that keeps him coming back to me. One day he will allow himself to let me in and something wonderful no doubt will happen.

Advertisements