Each relationship nurtures a strength or weakness within you.
“Love feels no burden, thinks nothing of its trouble, attempts what is above its strength, pleads no excuse for impossibility, for it thinks all things are lawful for itself and all things are possible”
“We cross our bridges when we come to them and burn them behind us, with nothing to show for our progress except a memory of the smell of smoke, and a presumption that once our eyes watered.”
So many times I have thought about this day coming but I envisioned it quite differently. I have kept the tears abay for the most part but I have found the tears randomly streaming down my cheeks.
Being an empty nester isnt easy for most parents and we dont realize how emotional we will get when that days comes. Yesterday we packed up her car, got the electric in her name and we planned a trip to punta cana the first week of January.
My daughter has worked so hard and she wants to be able to take summer classes to make law school easier each semester. She has three very short years ahead of her and before she knows it she will be getting her law degree.
My son has left me with two emotions, relief and the ties that bind mother and son. He and his girlfriend treated me like shit and didnt do a damn thing to help around the house. I didnt charge them a dime and paid for everything.
He is now living with his girlfriends aunt and he told me the other day he had a month to find someplace to live. I couldn’t invite him back home no matter how much my heart wanted to.
My son refuses to see a dr or take meds let alone go to a counselor. The problem with the illness is that so many refuse to believe they have an illness. They seem to have to spiral to the ground before they accept they need help.
On top of everything my son flew to texas and showed up on someone’s doorstep he played games online with. He sent this girl a gift for xmas two years ago and he kept her address.She had told him if he was thinking about moving to Texas she would help him get a place and a job.
So I kicked him out and he assumed he could get this great paying job in Texas, which didnt happen and to make things worse my son assaulted this girls husband because he spanked his daughter.
My son is now facing assault charges and has to go back to Texas to clear this mess up. His girlfriend is pregnant and she has mental issues of her own. I cannot allow either of them to treat me poorly and the baby is nothing more than the hook to keep my son on the line.
She got pregnant on purpose and just like so many other girls she assumed that my son will eventually marry her. This isnt going to happen because she is nothing more than a piece of ass for my son.
My son would still be living at home if it hadn’t been for her because I had to evict her and then him to get her out of my house. I should of never allowed her to stay here but like so many times before I believed the bullshit my son told me. She claimed to be abused and used at home and I fell for the story.
Everytime I have helped my son or his friends I have been burned and one would have thought that I would have more sense. Well, the time finally came that mom had to let her son sink or swim.
Im sure he will do fine one way or the other but his lieing has turned most of his friends away from him. He is a real manipulator and he makes you believe his lies and he makes you want to help him.
So here I sit with tears streaming down my face and a sadness that has washed over my body. I already miss my daughter so much and she has only been gone an hour. Now its time to focus on myself and start enjoying life as an empty nester.
- Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
What is it you are afraid of? You watch me from a distance and you try to hack into my email and other accounts. You think I dont know its you? Well, think again because it wasn’t to hard to put the pieces together.
Do you think I am waiting for you to get tired of the lame ass relationship you have? I am not one bit jealous if that is what you are thinking. She is nothing but young, dumb and a fuck to you.
You arent going to marry her and give her babies now are you? Do you think she doesnt want a family of her own because she possibly claims she doesnt want that. You stay in something that is comfortable and safe.
If you wanted her so badly why do you keep track of everything I do online? As far as my passwords, even you are not smart enough to figure them out. I no longer am waiting for you to show your face because I no longer care if you ever do step up.
You either think you are to good for me or you’re to damn insecure to meet me. If I wanted to hurt you I could have long ago. Im not impressed by you or admire you because to me you are just another swinging dick.
I know its you on my facebook, skype, trying to get the passwords to my yahoo and other accounts. You are so vain you think some of the stories I write are about you but you are wrong. I have a very rich imagination and I have plenty of fantasies to write about.
I would so love it if you would meet me and see if there is anything between us. What do you have to fear? Come on, be the man your papa raised you to be. I wont beg and I wont ask you again.I would appreciate it if you would realize how you hurt me leading me on like you have.
I want to move on with my life and let myself be open to others. Im tired of being alone and waiting for you to accept what is, akai ito or unmei no akai ito and yes it is meant to be and deep down you accept it but still fear it.
‘Hope’ is the thing with feathers—
That perches in the soul—
And sings the tune without the words—
And never stops—at all—
And sweetest—in the Gale—is heard—
And sore must be the storm—
That could abash the little Bird
That kept so many warm—
I’ve heard it in the chillest land—
And on the strangest Sea—
Yet, never, in Extremity,
It asked a crumb—of Me.
So you married young and never experienced dating people your own age and you feel somewhat cheated. You committed yourself to marriage, family and the white picket fence around the yard.
Your marriage falls into the track that will eventually lead you down the road of divorce. Once single or at least separated you begin to pursue the opposite sex. You find yourself attracted to much younger people because they make you feel young again.
You look for someone ten to fifteen years younger than yourself because you actually think the person is interested in you. Ladies, the younger men want to bone you and you being older and secure on all levels you can give the gigolo everything he wants.
Now the older gentleman dates the younger woman because she is younger, pretty, thin and she pays attention to him. Little does he know she only wants what she can get out of him.
She likes the nice dinners and attending events that the older, mature gentleman will take her to. He has fooled himself into thinking that people seeing him with a younger woman respect and admire him, not.
When the two older individuals take a good look at their lives they want something more than a cute girlfriend or boyfriend. They realize that the age difference keeps them from building a solid relationship.
The younger person will hang around trying to get a ring on their finger and the older man either wakes up and sees her for what she is or he will marry her thinking life will be grand. The reality is the younger woman only wants all the material shit she can get.
She will end up divorcing the older man because he has aged and is no longer attractive to the young woman. She gets pregnant, married and now you belong to her and you realize that she cannot fill.
You hunger for someone that can relate to you and has experienced many of the same things you have. Men, you find a woman closer to your age to be mentally as well as physically exciting. Ladies, a man your age will feed your desires.
You dont have to play teacher in day to day life and you dont have to be a teacher in bed either. Dating individuals our own age or within ten years of us tend to give us everything we need to be happy.
You think Im full of shit and the young piece of meat you are boning really loves you for the person you are, correct? Well, wake up and realize you are nothing more than money and gifts and yes even the sex will fall lame in time.
My advice is enjoy the ride for about two years because that is the average length of time relationships like this last. You will hunger for someone closer to your age and you will feel terrible about hurting your young piece of ass.
If you find yourself interested in someone else that alone tells you that your current relationship will not last. So, what shall it be? Be too intimidated by the woman or man closer to your age or make the move you fantasize about so much.
Did you ever sit back and let moments of melancholy overcome you? Did you ever feel a sadness come over you when you finally accepted the fact that the feelings you had for someone were misguided?
Did you ever feel let down because someone you looked up to was no one to look up to at all? Did you ever feel the cloak of emotions come over you so strongly that tears escaped your eyes?
Did you ever feel so damn foolish that you cannot even look at yourself in the mirror? Did you wonder what did you ever do to have someone want to hurt you emotionally? Why of all people did he pick you to play cat and mouse with?
How did the connection between the two of even begin? Did he not find you online and he has never let go? Did he find you so fascinating he couldnt help but want to creep on you and watch you from a distant?
He finds her so amusing and interesting but he is to fearful of her rejection as he knows she will reject him if she doesnt like him. She has no desire to be part of his personal circus with the press and she has no desire to live the fancy and expensive life.
He enjoys the fruit of his younger girlfriend but he thirsts for intelligent life form elsewhere. His girlfriend isnt stupid but the age difference brings with it many age related differences.
There will come a time when his desire to meet her overcomes any fear he may have. He will finally feel the attraction between the two of them. He will finally know what it is like to surrender your heart to someone and feel safe doing so.