She was in a melancholy mood as her past decided that Easter sunday would be the day that she would once again walk down memory lane. She decided that a bubble bath would relax her and possibly giver her the escape she so badly needed.
Walking into the bathroom she looked forward to the smell of the green bubble bath, Vitabath. The smell alone reminded her of her long gone aunt who she had been extremely close to before Legionnaires disease took her to meet her maker.
Her aunt had given her a bottle of Vitabath many years ago and the aroma was so pleasing to her. She turned on the hot water and then the cold to make the water temperature acceptable to her touch.
She squirted several shots of the bubble bath into the hot water and she stood watching the bubbles appear. Stepping back she placed one hand on the tie of her robe and untied it and pushed it off her shoulders.
She then placed the robe on the granite counter top in the bathroom and then she removed her shirt, sports bra and then her panties. She only wore panties when she took her dogs for a walk and there was no rhyme or reason for it.
She slowly put one toe into the water to be sure it wasn’t to hot and then she stepped into the bubble rich water. Slowly sitting down and leaning back in her jacuzzi bathtub made memories flood her brain like storm waters overflowing a sewer drain.
As she looked up into the recessed lighting memories of dead bees came back to her. The memory came as a reminder of some of the things her husband had done when he was alive. The bees had made their way into the attic area above the bathroom and her husband had climbed the roof to find the entrance that bees had found their way into their home.
He sealed up the entrance and the remaining bees died and fell into the lense of the recessed lighting. Her mind flooded with memories and the next thought was of the day she brought her husband home from the hospital.
She had been forced into making literally a life or death decision regarding her husband. She had to decide if she would allow the Dr. to remove her husband’s foot or have him transferred to another hospital for a second decision.
The Dr. told her the news, which seemed to get worse than the information from the first Dr.not only did the Dr. tell her he wasn’t able to safe the foot let alone her husband’s leg but he would do the best he could.
She watched her husband wheeled into the operating room and the doom that came over her was suffocating. She had no idea if her husband would live let alone have any part of his leg. Hours past and the Dr. came out to tell her that her husband had survived the surgery and that the Dr. was able to safe the leg above the knee joint.
This was great news as the knee joint made it so much easier to learn to walk with a prosthetic. She sat in the tub and slid down under the water in an attempt to drown out the memories but they continued to flood her brain.
She remembered the day she brought her husband home and she remembered the solemn mood that both of them were in. He had no idea the decisions she had to make in an effort to keep him alive and he would never know the heart wrenching decisions that she had made.
She was able to escape from the memories long enough to wash her hair and body and shave the parts that were in need. She then turned on the jets and positioned herself so the jets would shoot water through the opening in her upper thighs.
The water rushed through and like every other time she had a very fast and satisfying orgasm. Once the spasms stopped she let the water out of the tub as she stood up and dried her body.
She glanced through the bathroom door and for a reason she could not fathom, the wood floor in her bedroom brought her back to the day her husband came home. She could literally see herself lifting her husband’s frail body and putting him in their bed. The pain that shot through her body was ignored until she had him safely in the bed.
Little had she known that she had ruptured two discs in her lower back while she lifted her husband. She didn’t care about herself as much as she did about the man before her, the man that she would never know.
The loss of his leg was like a cancer that ate away at their lives together. Even though they didnt marry for love they cared deeply about each other. It broke her heart to see before her a broken man, a man that would never be the same by a long shot.
This Easter Sunday was like every other Easter Sunday since she had married as Easter was only a few weeks from her husband’s birthday and ten days later the eminent death of a man taken control of by leukemia.
She usually made a ham for Easter and a lovely dinner but not this year, no this year would be vastly different. Her only daughter was doing an internship in Washington D. C. with the attorney general’s office and her son was a picky eater. She had decided to make no dinner for the two of them and instead chose to eat a frozen meal of swedish meatballs and noodles.
She preferred cooking to going out to eat or to eat frozen food items but just in case she got sick and couldn’t cook for herself she had several frozen meals in the freezer. The sadness that comes with memories of those long gone overshadowed every other emotion she had.
She had lost everyone she had ever known her as a child and the man that she created children with. She didn’t feel sorry for herself, just a sense of loss so deep and so controlling she had no idea how to crawl out of the depths of the memories.
She so needed someone to wrap their arms around her and give her some comfort but there was no one in her life that could give her what she needed. She missed sex like crazy and she missed the smell of a man, the feel of his body, the feel of an erect penis pushing against her lower back in the early hours of the morning.
She missed so much but she knew when the time was right the man that was to be part of her remaining years would walk into her life. She knew that both of them had something special to offer each other but until that day she would walk by herself and walk down memory lane while she nursed a part of her that was filled with loss and one day found.